With apologies to the original author, Jenny Joseph.
When I am an old woman I shall wear a red thong
and long hair that’s professionally dyed and shaves 20 years off me.
And I shall spend my 401(k) on frappuccinos and red bras
And high-heeled boots, and say we’ve no money for high-speed Internet.
But maybe I ought to blog about it a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and get an ironic tattoo.