With apologies to the original author, Jenny Joseph.
WARNING
When I am an old woman I shall wear a red thong
and long hair that’s professionally dyed and shaves 20 years off me.
And I shall spend my 401(k) on frappuccinos and red bras
And high-heeled boots, and say we’ve no money for high-speed Internet.
…
But maybe I ought to blog about it a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and get an ironic tattoo.

If you ever catch me wearing red and purple together – you have my permission to SHOOT first and ask nary a question~!
Where’s that thong?
And the red hat thing is fine for ladies who are old now, but for our generation, we’ll need something different.
AWESOME!!!!
I love this poem!!!!
And contrary to Miss Robin, I am perversely fond of red and purple together, ESPECIALLY in floral bouquets. Throw in some orange, and I’m in heaven.
Those are some bold colors!
A flower bouquet is the perfect place for those colors.
You are so sweet!
Not to worry-our generation is pretty determined to stay themselves. As long as they keep making hair dye and anti-wrinkle cream I think I can stave the worst off 🙂
I’m going out like I came in: with smooth skin and black hair.
I love the original poem though I loved it before the red and purple ladies ruined it. It captures exactly what I plan to be when I am old. Eccentric.
I figure why wait? How do you plan on being eccentric?
Hee hee!
I have to ask, though, why several commenters were hating on the Red Hat Society ladies.
Group outings with the red hat ladies are the one thing that has gotten my husband’s grandmother out of the house since her husband died. I think they’re pretty awesome– what could be better than encouraging older women to play dress-up, get out & just have a good time?
I think it’s more like people are afraid of the aging process and looking foolish. It’s like Mardi Gras. I bet those people are having a blast, but is that something I want for myself?
Eh, I already have years of practice in looking foolish.
I have a lifetime’s worth of experience.
60 pounds ago, I used to wear a red thong with such pride – now I look at it and wonder why they made red satin tooth floss!
You have to get the right kind for it to be comfortable–at any weight!
I will eat Blue Bell with you in Texas! It is only 2 hours from me and involves free blue bell 🙂
By the time I saw this, I was already in Texas. We had Banana Pudding. Mmmm!
Oh, this is so true! Too funny.
Thanks, babe!
Funny!!
I found your site on the Alexa Blog Hop. Stop by sometime.
Brenda
http://www.piggygiggles.com
You are singing my song. Isn’t it ironic how you can take a poem about individuality and turn it into a cult?
I’m with Robin, shoot me if you ever see me dressed in a red hat with a purple boa.
“Chloe, you don’t have to put on the red hat. Chlooooeee…you dont have to wear that hat tonight.”
We’ll have to embarrass our kids in a different way.
Now that would be the way to do it!