My friends told me this weekend that I have a lot of amusing bathroom stories (Consider that a warning.)
I think I’m just unlucky. And I drink a lot of water.
Last week I was in my favorite Starbucks and noticed signs on both sides of the ladies’ room door. “KNOCK first!” on the outside and detailed instructions telling you how to know if the door was really locked were posted on the inside.
Just to be safe I positioned a kid outside to guard.
Last winter at the enormous Jo-Ann fabric store a lady walked into my stall and then started a conversation, but I figure that was cosmic pay-back for what I did at Dunkin’ Donuts last year.
I was on a trip to Hershey, PA, (a chocolate wonderland) and went with a friend, her son, and my daughters to the Dunkin’ Donuts right by Hershey Park.
We walked into an almost-empty restaurant. One lady employee was washing the front windows and a younger lady employee was behind the counter.
My group went to the counter to order. I decided to go wash my hands.
At the ladies’ room, the handle didn’t turn all the way easily and seemed to be stiff, so I pulled extra hard.
Of course, the employee who’d been cleaning the windows was now on the toilet. The door wasn’t stuck, it had been locked. An awkward moment ensued. I backed out, gibbering and apologizing. Very embarrassing for both of us, but mostly her.
I returned to my friends, ordered and found a table in the far corner. My friend was going to the loo before we left and I told her what had happened and suggested she take her son to guard the door.
I watched her walk to the back, pull the door hard and then back away, gibbering and apologizing. The OTHER employee had been in the bathroom on the toilet and the door had not adequately locked.
We fled the premises. In the car we were doing that awkward joking thing. I lamented the fact that we would not be welcome at that Dunkin’ Donuts if they recognized us as the bathroom intruders.
We decided if we needed an emergency blueberry cake doughnut (the best kind) we would need some sort of disguise for future visits. Since I had a Sharpie marker in my purse, I suggested finger mustaches.
I don’t think they’ll suspect a thing. What do you think? Maybe a fake French accent too?
Are there any places where you could benefit from a disguise? I may use this if I have to go back to the French bakery where my skirt blew up. I’ll use my Italian accent there.
Photo attributions: massdistraction on flickr

Love that!
Thanks, hon. I'm glad to see my comments are working again. I've been having problems with that.
too freaking funny! the crazy thing is just this weekend i had my husband go to Krispy Kreme for a blueberry cake donut! they are sooo good! Alas, Krispy Kreme doesn't sell them. Traitors.
When I want a fried doughnut, I like Krispy Kreme, but Dunkin' Donuts is IT for cake doughnuts, in my opinion.
Now I'm hungry.
lol. Funny! Now when I go to Hershey I will have to find that Dunkin!
Love the photo too!
I love these finger mustaches. What a great idea! Nobody will ever know me again…maybe I can even order a cake from the place where I asked for a buggar cake once…"moco" instead of mocha "moca".
I love DD cake donuts…plain ones. Yummmm!
fern
Theresa, you can't miss it. It right past the park.
Oh, Fern. Booger cake! That is even funnier because nobody's privacy was violated.
You crack me up!
I love it! The mustaches can also serve the dual purpose of blocking your nose from any unpleasant odors….
Genius, Jamie. I've got teens, so that would come in handy.
Man I bet that was embarassing!Walking in on sombody like that! You might try to use the finger mustache to get more samples at Costco.
Extra Costco samples! Totally going to try that.
I didn't go to a store for a year or so after my embarrassing blow-up about a birthday cake.
Sarah, I'm so glad it's not just me. We switched churches once, and I won't say embarrassment had nothing to do with it. A story for another day.
I was working a trade show one time when I decided to use the "family restroom" because there was a long line at the regular restroom. I pulled open the door (it wasn't locked) to expose a woman sitting on the toilet to a hallway full of people. I recognized her immediately. She had visited my booth about 20 minutes earlier and promised to come back and spend a couple hundred bucks. Apparently, she recognized me, too. I never saw her again that weekend.
Ooh, that's a bad one. I hope she thinks it's funny now. That's usually how I try to frame it in my head.
Great disguise! I'll have to remember that one. Would be a funny and simple Halloween costume too!
Haha…the perfect disguise :S
Diane, I'll let you know if it works.
Mommy Moment, they;ll never know it's me!
Hilarious! Do you live near Hershey? I ask because I do. 🙂
Tara, I wish. I love Hershey, except for the faint smell of cow.
I was just up there in H-burg for the homeschool convention at the livestock center.
Great story!!!! Too funny! Only you, Nota!