We had a good Thanksgiving. My husband had time off, the food was good, the weather was amazingly warm for late November.
Still, I’ve been run down lately. Tired, droopy and a little sad over some sick relatives and family I miss.
Monday night I felt rotten. I threw the biggest fit and ran off to the bookstore, like a big, bratty toddler with car keys and a credit card.
I considered driving to Fredericksburg. They have an Aldi. This is how boring my running-away plans are.
In retrospect I was probably already sick with whatever knocked me down yesterday.
I woke up late, poorly rested and with a pounding headache. It took two Motrin to get me ambulatory, but I remained so nauseated that I almost lost my oatmeal in the Trader Joe’s parking lot. And there’s not much more gross thing to un-eat than oatmeal.
Before dinner I was talking to my buddy, Boonie Sooze. I hopped up and walked to the pantry in my kitchen when my heart did a little bump and grind, and not in the good way. Bump-bump. Bump-bump……BUMP.
My husband got home about then and I got off the phone with Susan. When I stood up from a kitchen chair, I had to lie down on the kitchen floor for a minute or five. (It smells like cat food. Remind me to mop it. Remind me to buy a mop.)
My husband is remarkably calm when he finds me lying face down on the floor. If I’d felt better, that would have bothered me.
I would totally freak out if I found him on the kitchen floor. Because freaking out is directly related to how much you love someone.
So, after a call to my friend Dana, a RN/EMT/professional fire fighter, and a call to our insurance nurse, I was blackmailed persuaded into a trip to the ER.
I politely declined a ride in an ambulance. I knew I was okay and for some reason the thought of riding in an ambulance mortifies me. Too much attention, like jazz hands.
The ER was busier than nickel night at the cat house the church picnic. I have not seen so many snotty toddlers since that Wiggles stage show during cold and flu season in 2003.
Still, you go right to the front of the line when you say “cardiac event”. I had an EKG within thirty seconds.
After that prompt attention in triage, we had a nice long wait. I felt well enough to chat with the nice lady who drew seventy-two vials of blood from me. She was impressed I knew she was Persian. (I love Persian people!)
Later my friend Dana drove an hour to wait with me and my husband. Dana is officially “friend of the year”. Her certificate will be in the mail soon along with a leftover birthday tiara and a t-shirt that says “I’m With Stupid”.
She was totally ready to hold my hair back if I puked. It was a possibility, because I was clinging to a sexy emetic basin that my insurance company will be charged two hundred dollars for.
Anyway, I’m starting to bore myself.
Dehydrated. Low blood volume makes your heart beat funny and makes you all pass-y-out-y. It took two nurses, a doctor, four needle sticks, a blown vein on my hand and an ultrasound machine to get an i.v. in me to deliver two quarts of high-test and some anti-nausea medicine into my cold, irritated body.
Dana stayed until after 11, we stayed until almost 1. I got a chest x-ray, a cold sore and an appointment with a cardiologist.
In the end, there’s nothing really wrong with me. Thyroid: low normal. Blood sugar: perfect. Blood chemistry: peachy keen, jelly bean.
Probably have a virus. Or post-post-post-partum depression. That’s a thing, right?
The worst part was, I forgot my souvenir emetic basin. At least I got a cool plastic bracelet.
EDITED NINE MONTHS LATER: Hey, it’s my thyroid after all. That only took ten years to diagnose! Still, it’s such a relief.
Oh my word! I had no freaking idea and I feel like an idiot now.
Why did you even email me tonight? You should have done nothing more than kick your feet up and relax. I’m glad you’re OK, but I’m shaking my finger at you for wasting precious time emailing when you should be relaxing.
**shakes finger over and over again**
I feel great! My kids made dinner and me and the old man snuggled on the couch.
I made him watch Alfred Hitchcock movies with me.
I still say it’s your thyroid, and there is more work/research/learning to be done.
I couldn’t sleep last night.
And it really wasn’t the taquitos.
Much.
I’ve been up since 4:30, worried about you.
XXX OOO
You WILL get better. I will hound you to hades till you do.
I feel fine. My hand, wrist and arm stopped hurting.
There must have been a reason they kept sticking me on my right side, but it doesn’t seem like a good one.
At least I got a purseful of free cotton balls, medical tape and non-latex gloves. (I’m kidding.)
I think going to the cardiologist is the new black. My appointment is tomorrow.
Love ya.
We’ll compare cardiologist trading cards. Then we’ll battle them!
“I choose you, Doctor Gold!”
Anne, glad you are feeling better. Glad to you are following up with the cardiologist. And if you run away to Fredericksburg, give me a call. I’ll drive the get away car. Or at least I’ll meet you at Aldi’s. 🙂
They sell wine there now, Andrea. An Aldi’s version of three-buck Chuck.
And I hear their chocolate is very good.
Thank you for going to the ER. You are so loved.
I was totally guilt-tripped into to with a reminder of my wonderful, departed father-in-law and how he thought he had the flu for six months that turned out to be cancer.
I’m so sorry….and how sucky is it that so many of us can compare cardiologists?! And “low normal” thyroid isn’t normal for some of us…
I’m glad you are feeling better. I loved reading about your floor — it makes me feel better about mine. 😳
It makes me happy to know you aren’t perfect. You kind of intimidate me, and that rarely happens.
Nothing like a virus to help us appreciate good health! I hope you rebound quickly!
I’m still wiped out. I fell off the toilet this morning. Dizzy!
I’m always amazed at how much better a unit or two or three of fluids will make you feel.
I’ve brought ds in on death’s door (they wanted to send him straight to ICU, but no beds up there), then had to try to keep him from pulling out his IV while he jumped on the bed hours later.
I’ve had the same experience (minus the actual jumping on the bed, but I felt like I could).
I didn’t feel like jumping on the bed, but I did bounce back enough to be grumpy.
Ok you win. You were sicker than I.
This is a game I don’t want to win.
Feel better soon!
Dear Anne,
I hope you feel better stat! (My pathetic attempt at infusing hospital speak into the story.) I agree with Boonie Sooze that your thyroid needs further investigation. That particular body part is a trick one to diagnose and can really wreak havoc on just about everything.
Despite all that, I am glad that you were able to find some humor in the whole ordeal, and actually got someone to take a picture of your IV drip line. By the way, my floor smells like dog – a not-so-subtle mix of regurgitated dog food, dirt and hair. I have a mop, but can’t seem to be as motivated as I should to use it!
Take care of yourself and get back to full speed. And then go out to lunch with Dana. Anyone that is willing to hold your hair back when you vomit deserves friend of the year!
I owe Dana big time. She even offered to share her McRib with me, but I couldn’t eat it.
So glad it was nothing! And I’ve had that heart thump thing before, I didn’t know it could be dehydration. Hmmm, good to know!
And yes – post -post-post pardum depression is of course a thing! 🙂
Then I have that! Treatment is very fine chocolate, right?
I think you should add an endor doctor to your list. Thyroid is so often missed and it causes so many problems when it is out of wack.
But that is just my non medical background talking… my Mom suffered for YEARS before they finally figured it out.
They are going to re-test after the new year and we’ll see what happens then.
My fingernails are ridged–what else causes that in a woman with good nutrition who takes vitamins?
so so sorry, no fun at all….hope you are on your way to recovery and not approaching the cat-food-floor again for many years to come…so glad you are A-O-K.
fern
Oh, Fern, you made me laugh!
I hate this for you. *hug*
I feel okay. I’m glad I’m talking to a doctor about my health. I haven’t been to the doctor since I got out of the hospital four years ago.
Oh my. Thank God there wasn’t anything seriously wrong with you. I am glad you listened to your
blackmailersfriend and husband and went to the ER.I feel kind of silly, even. Who knew not enough water could cost you thousands of dollars in emergency room fees?
Oh Anne ~ that sounds frightening. I am so thankful that Dana was there for you, and super thankful that you seem to be ok.
Dana is super cool.(See you next summer!)
Oh-it has got to be the time of year. I had that about two weeks ago and am still not feeling great.
Add in Christmas madness…my wine consumption might go up.
Christmas shouldn’t be in winter. Or it should be later in winter, when I really need it.
You are hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this – you have a great way of describing situations in a way that we can both empathize and laugh at the same time. Thank yoU!
Donna
Thanks, Donna. My motto for life is, “It’s always funny eventually!”
I went to dinner with my friend Dana. When we were walking back to our cars, we discovered hers had been towed.
I turned to her and said, “This is going to be SUCH and funny story someday!” And it is.