When my boys’ grandfather celebrated his 69th birthday in October he had a secret. He was ill, despite saying the doctor had given him a clean bill of health.
Before Thanksgiving he surprised us by going into the hospital. Blood clot in his lung? Pneumonia? We were confused, but not too worried.
But, he declined rapidly and soon we were told of feeding tubes and life support and x-rays and lung scans.
There was something in his lungs and it was growing.
Saturday we got the call that he wasn’t going to make it and that we should stay put a state away because he was fading so fast.
Still, to give him every chance, he was kept on a respirator until Monday. Once off the respirator, it would most likely be minutes.
He is a tough old guy, so it took more than 50 hours, until 1:00 this morning, for his lungs to give out.
Lungs that had powered him as he ran on the green hills of Tennessee as a boy. Lungs that helped him shout at every home game UT played. Lungs used to laugh at delight as he spent time with his five beautiful grandsons.
So sorry not to see more birthdays with you, Toby. Rest in peace.
This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society.
Please, don’t smoke, and see your doctor for preventive care.

It’s the worst of the worst.
Love you, Anne.
I’m so very sorry for your loss, and for the loss of your family!
*HUG* These things are so hard.
(totally off the subject: your blog looks great)
So sorry! Cancer is the worst!
I am so sorry. My girls miss their grandfather so very much. ((((hugs)))) to you and your family, Anne.
I’m so sorry, Anne.
I hate cancer.
I’m so sorry to read this. I know how devastating this can be. My husband’s mother passed in much the same way – never let on she was as sick as she was and then finally passed away after a 10 day hospital stay with mesothelioma.
Sending you hugs and many prayers.
I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers are heading out your way.
I’m so sorry. I agree…it stinks. Thinking of your family,
fern
Hi Ann,
I’m sorry for your loss. Is this your dad or father in law then? My grandpa suffered from some bouts of lung cancer too, and would tour dozens of MN schools after his first bout, warning kids never to smoke. The last bout went fast.
I especially liked your line “lungs used to laugh in delight with his grandkids.” Fitting tribute.
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
I like to call it the “C” word. I hate it more than any curse word. It took my dad from me at 69 also. It was very fast, almost 2 months to the day from when we found out. I am sorry for your loss. I am praying for you during this time of loss. 🙁
So very, very sorry to hear about your loss. Prayers to you and yours.
I’m sorry for you and your boys. Cancer is icky and so are cigarettes. I’m with you on that whole not smoking thing. Let me know if I can help – I have two great ears!
Anne,
I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer does stink.
My father was diagnosed with end stage lung cancer on November 14th (last month). On November 19th he died. It was shocking. Cancer is an awful disease.
So sorry you lost your father too.
Thanks, Kathy. It was my boys’ grandfather, my ex husband’s father. I’m sad, but not devastated like I would be if it was my dad.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how my ex and his sister are feeling. They logged a lot of hours at the hospital this month.
When I became middle-aged, I began to think of my parents mortality quite a bit. It would make me cry just to think of one of them dying.
It’s been strange losing my dad. For about a week I sat in a near catatonic coma staring into space at nothing at all. Heavy with emotion, but unable to cry.
Then it started and I cried for 3 days straight. So much so, I had a crushing headache. Then it lifted, only to come back in flashes every now and then. I think of him, then I realize he’s really dead and I bust into tears again.
But, someone posted on my blog recently about losing her dad too. She said she was so sad, but also had this incredible strength that she never knew she had.
It was interesting the way she phrased it. I guess that’s how I feel too.
Anyway…….I do offer my deepest sympathy. Death sucks. There is just no nice way to frame it.
Sorry for your loss. Cancer really does stink
Thank you, Chris. I appreciate it.